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Growing groups by meeting developing needs by Tom Atkins |
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We all have hurts and needs. We all have something in our past or current circumstances that causes us to depend on God and his love. When we look within our churches and community, we see opportunities to show God's love to people based on a situation, hurt, or need. It doesn't matter what they look like, where they've been, or what they've done. God has them with us for a reason.
Addressing these developing needs in your congregation is a great way to incrementally grow your small group and support group ministries. It's a way for people to share their thoughts and feelings with others in a similar situation and receive guidance from God's Word. Through that, their lives can be transformed more into the likeness of Christ. And that's what we're all about as churches.
Here are some examples of how we've built small groups and support groups around needs at Saddleback:
Stepfamilies: Step-parenting is tough. There are issues with the biological parent versus the stepparent, how to make parenting decisions, etc. And with the dynamics of marriage in stepfamilies, the divorce rate is very high. To address this need, we've built a small group ministry and curriculum just for stepfamilies.
Parenting: Parents need help facing issues such as alcohol and drug abuse, rebellious teenagers, and laying a solid biblical foundation in the home. It helps to have other parents to talk with about these things in the comfort of a small group setting.
Financial issues: In today's economy, many people are struggling to meet their budget. Through a small group, people can come together around this common need and study a curriculum about biblical financial management together.
Divorce Care: This is a big one. Some churches say, "Oh, you're divorced?" and kind of push people away. But God died for these people. He loves them, and so should we. Support groups are a great way to care for these people.
Grief support: We have several grief support groups at Saddleback that minister to a range of people who've lost someone close to them. These groups help people through a very difficult time and often result in a renewed faith in Christ.
Cancer: Depending on how your church is organized, this is probably a support group versus a small group, but it's essentially the same thing – you're meeting people's needs through groups.
Workplace ministry: We have more than 300 workplace small groups that are applying biblical principles to the workplace. It's easy to be a Christian at church on Sunday, but we need support to live out our Christian values at work.
Separated men's group: This is a support group for guys who are separated from their wives – including emotionally – whether or not they are still living with her. We send new group members to the "new guy room" on their first visit where they get to tell their story. After that, they are not allowed to say one negative word about their wife. They are there to deal with their own issues and become the men God wants them to be.
Addressing group members who need extra care
If a person's hurt is so significant that it would be disruptive to the small group, we suggest a specialty care support group until the person is ready to be in a regular small group. We might also suggest Celebrate Recovery or church counseling. People may go to a specialty group for a while and come back to their other small group when they're done, or they may stay with the specialty group – it varies. We don't tell them what to do; we just offer suggestions based on what they think their needs are.
The thing to be prepared for is that many times Christians don't act like Christians when it comes to inviting people with serious needs into a small group community. We need to remember that we can't expect people to act like believers until they are believers. And we can't expect people with serious needs to be truly functional until they've received some help.
Choosing curriculum
There are a lot of options out there when it comes to choosing curriculum. We don't tell our small groups what they should or shouldn't study – it's really wide open. The community leaders, through their discussions with the small group leaders, will know what's being studied. If something is questionable from a biblical standpoint, then we deal with that.
How to get started at your church
One of the first things you want to do is look around and see who's in your church and start praying for God to reveal the hurts and needs. Here are some questions to ask as you get started:
- What are the people talking about?
- What's going on in their lives?
- What do they need?
- What are their shared experiences?
- Who's coming in terms of age, ethnic background, language spoken, etc.?
- What opportunities do you see to help people?
Once you know what the needs are, you need to identify potential leaders. These should be people who have experienced victory over those hurts and needs. All our needs-based small groups and support groups at Saddleback are led by a person who is very experienced with that issue and has led other people through that journey. We also require our leaders to be members of the church, and we make sure they have a good theological foundation.
We also have a strong support infrastructure in place for the leader. We assign "community leaders" or "associate community leaders" to answer the host's questions and lead them step-by-step in everything they need to do.
Our community leaders serve 25 small group hosts. They call and make a quality contact with each host every month. A quality contact is either face-to-face or via phone, but it's not through email. It's "Hi, how are you? How's your group going? How can I be praying for you? Do you need anything from the church? Do you have any questions?" The important thing is that we tell new leaders, "You are not going to be in this alone," and we strive to fulfill that promise.
One other word of caution in starting these groups: You need to encourage group members that their identity is in Christ, not in their hurt or need. Having good leaders will help ensure that the groups do not stay stuck. The leader should be someone who has already experienced victory over the hurt or need and can lead the others in that direction. For instance, the leader of a Divorce Care group needs to be someone who has truly moved beyond that situation and is not recently divorced.
There's a lot going on in the lives of people in your congregation. When you step back and ask God to show you the opportunities, you'll see many ways to care for people, bring them together in small groups, and to allow God to start healing and transforming their lives.
If you want to learn more about growing your small groups ministry, join us for a Purpose Driven Small Groups conference in 2009:
February 19-21 in Lake Forest, Calif.
March 26-28 in Houston
April 23-25 in Atlanta
May 14-16 in Cincinnati
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Tom Atkins has been on staff at Saddleback Church since 1997 and now serves on the Small Groups Team as pastor to 330 couples and 200 international small groups. He is a graduate of Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary and has taught pastors and seminary students at Purpose Driven Church Conferences in Syria, Japan, and Sri Lanka. He and his wife, Dianne, have attended Saddleback since 1993.